In my blog I plan to chat about nature, crafts, baking, gardening, beekeeping, and anything else that happens to pop into my head. Sit back, relax for five minutes of a day, and enjoy!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015


Well I'm still here....and I will say this last week has been hell.  I don't think I have ever posted a post like that last one, but since I did, I'm going to tell you about our week. 

I left you at (last)Wednesday morning, when I was heading to the "rehab facility" with a mashed banana and a good cup of coffee.  When I got to their door, I was getting ready to push the button to enter the building, and my cell phone rang.  I stopped, answered the phone, and it was them.  My MIL was "unresponsive" and they "think she had a stroke".  I told them I was right outside, and when I went in I heard someone say, "I just got off the phone with Cindy and she is already here." 

I went into her room and stood there.....helpless.....while people came in from who knows where.  If only they would have done that during the week...when I kept asking them to.  Because now, and at that time, it was too late.

I called her son, My Shug, and got him up.   The EMT's came in the room and they took her to the hospital (across the parking lot).  I walked there.  My Shug came in.  We were there for hours.  She had a massive stroke and was not a candidate for the "three hour drug" to try to reverse the effects of the stroke.  She could not speak, she could not swallow, she could not move anything but one arm and could only open one eye. 

Later that day My Shug went to her "rehab facility" cleaned out her room, told them they had a "lieing sack of shit for a nurse" and she would never be back. Half an hour later, the Dr. was in her hospital room.   He apologized to us that his facility let us down and asked if I was the one that called his office yesterday.   He told us this was the worst way to go to the Lord.  He was not wrong.

We had some very tough decisions to make. 

We stayed with her most of that day and the next two days off and on.  We had no idea how many days she would be able to last this way, but by Friday My Shug had to go back to work. And we had some stuff that had to be done.

We thought we had done all of the crying there was to do, but on Sunday I had a complete and total meltdown.  I was hurting on my back left side and didn't know if it was pleurisy, heart, or stress.  I took an ibuprofen, crying my eyes out, and called in the troops. 
And the troops came....

We had to insulate the stair well and prepare it for the drywall guys.
We had to clear out our house for the drywall guys.
Remove all the screens in the windows so they won't get clogged up with drywall/sanding dust.
Remove and plug all register vents.
I had fireplace installers scheduled for Wednesday (tomorrow) and drywallers scheduled for next Monday, June 1.
*And yes I could have rescheduled everything above but then it wouldn't get done until mid July because of our schedule and who knows about their schedule.  We have a wedding coming up in a couple of weeks in St. Thomas, planned since October.  It was almost easier to go on with the already scheduled plans that to make more phone calls and try to re-plan.*
And now, we had a funeral imminent.....which we started planning and meeting with people.
a MIL struggling to spending countless hours at the hospital.  Three middle of the night phone calls from the hospital.  
Not sleeping enough...
AND We found out we had to have her Assisted Living room cleaned out by June 1, or pay $3045.00...another month's rent.
on Friday we were told  she would need moved "somewhere."  I was on my way home when I got a call that the Dr. and social services were there to talk to us.   I was actually almost  home when I turned the car around and went back to the hospital.

She could not stay in the hospital because it is used to help people get well, and she will not be getting well.  My Shug was refusing to put her in another facility, and we are living in one room in a basement.  She could not go back to her assisted living facility unless someone moved in with her full-time.  That left our room in the basement.  And hospice coming in to help. 
BUT...somehow she qualified for hospice help AT THE HOSPITAL for five more days.  Thank you Lord.

So, back to Sunday...
Sunday morning came around and I could not stop crying.  I can't remember the last time I was this stressed.  Vickie, my cousin, and her husband Robert came over Sunday and Monday and we got EVERYTHING done!  I mean EVERYTHING!  My Sister and her husband were going to come on Monday but we felt like we could get everything done without the extra help.   And Mom and Dad cooked our meals for those two days.  Thank God for family and friends huh? 

On Sunday evening I went to see my MIL.  While I was standing there she reached up, grabbed my hand, and opened both eyes and stared right at me!  I thought there might be a possibility of recovery.  I even told her that in the movie the Notebook, James Garner says, "science only goes so far, and then there is God."  She could only open one eye and move one arm since the stroke.  So I texted my Shug and he came back to the hospital.  But sadly, I think that was her "last hurrah."  On Monday,  he came home and said he does not want me going back to the hospital.  Things were really bad.

Last night at 1:15 we got a call.  My MIL passed away.  It is for the best. She was struggling just to breathe and would not have wanted to live that way.  She is at peace now. 

Cindy Bee

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

"Rehab" facilities suck

Hi everyone,
I'm up early trying not to wake My Shug who works until midnight. I couldn't get back to sleep today because his Mother is in a "rehab" (and I use that term loosely) facility. I'm pretty sure she is dieing. We think her lungs are filling up with fluid. And I'll be honest here. She was never one of my favorite people. She always found the negative in everything. And I do mean everything. She was a drainer. But here's the thing. Except for a few politicians who make these rules they do not have to follow, and this lieing sack of shit nurse that works at this place, no one deserves the treatment she is getting. I'm thinking about hiding under the bed and recording them, except I probably wouldn't be able to get back up!  Or they'd lower the bed on me and I'd be trapped. And this nurse, here-to-fore referred to as LSoS (lieing sack of shit-my shug's endearing term for him)has blatantly lied twice, in three days. I called the Dr's office yesterday, trying to get a Dr. to see her since he visits the place "every week" but she hasn't seen him in over two weeks now, and told them my MIL can no longer speak. He told the Dr's office that he just talked to her and she was fine. Really?  Because I couldn't hear her voice, her daughter couldn't understand her, and My Shug went to see her and she could NOT speak.   My Shug also said her left leg is stretched to it's limit. It is purple and shiny. And her food, which is the same thing every day, looks like puréed crap. I'm sneaking in a mashed banana, and a cup of coffee. She is dieing. Give her some food.  Give her a cup of coffee. And for crying out loud, give her some relief.
So anyway, I'm  going in there and taking a picture of her leg. I'm recording her voice, and I'm taking it to the Dr's office.
Rant over....for now

Mad Cindy Bee

Monday, May 18, 2015

Make a Wish!

Did you used to make a wish on these when you were a child?
Did you know dandelions are one of the first flowers that honeybees get nectar from?
And this is the same yard, after it's been mowed.  Still green!
Cindy Bee